I wake up one morning,

And Find the raindrops,

Painting my windows. 

They smile at me,

But I ignore.

As I am ready to indulge,

in my favorite pastime.

I start to badger and beleaguer my soul

My soul as usual,

gulps all its anguish down, 

and remains calm.

I continue and continue,

With my favorite pastime,

But my soul still does not complain,

I am waiting for the moment,

when it will finally say,

Stop I cannot take it anymore.

And then there are other moments,

When me and my soul,

Swap the roles.

I welcome my soul with a demure smile,

Of a little girl,

meek and docile.

Suddenly my Animus surfaces,

And All the other shades of my soul

Become silent and subdued.

I had never know it had any gender,

But now it was speaking to me,

In a firm baritone voice of a man,

“Hey little girl”

“Is everything fine?”

“Yes I suppose.”

And when I wake up one cloudy morning,

My solitude suggests,

Its time to turn to him once again.

Him? I ask and smile,

But why and for what?

Speak to him about the things,

You speak to me,

Ask him the questions you ask me.

My solitude smiled and whispered.

OK I am gonna try.

I knock at my inner being,

and get a reply.

In the same baritone voice. 

“Who is it?”

“Its Me”

Why are you here?

What do you want?

I am here with a complaint.

“Complaint? Oh I see.”

I hear a sigh and start to speak.

I am here to tell you,

You have always betrayed me,

Now dissemble me no more.

He smiles but still ignores,

Now it’s his turn to be harsh,

But he goes slowly.

“You know I love you but.”

I smile and sigh,

As he holds back his last word,

he can see I am nonplussed.

He offers once again,

his love as a Panacea,

I initially refuse,

Albeit nonchalantly,

but finally accept it.


My erstwhile submission,

Is enough to last a life time,

for him and for me.

I present him my Pastiche,

made of clouds and rainbows,

and of my smiles and sorrows.

The lilies start lilting,

And Thousand of flowers bloom.

Wait Wait,

Serendipity of the moment,

Surprises me.

And I say loudly,

Your eloquence can perhaps convince me,

But you know it cannot redeem me.

With these words,

I break free.

When I return,

My solitude asks me.

“Where is your Ebullience?”

“Have you sold or bartered your soul?”

“Is it a mirage delusion or just nothing?”

“That I see around you.”

I give no answer,

As a sudden revelation awakens within me.

Yes he can convince me about anything,

But he cannot redeem me.

Only I can set myself free,

Yes I can do it,

But he cannot do it for me,

No one else can do it for me.


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